TORONTO – In the wake of the sudden resignation of Patrick Brown due to sexual assault allegations, the Ontario Progressive Conservatives have stunned the world by appointing a black, homosexual …
Tag: Patrick Brown
Report: Patrick Brown regrets not having paid attention to Ontario’s new sex-ed curriculum on consent
TORONTO – Former Ontario PC Leader Patrick Brown is kicking himself after failing to read and understand the meaning of consent as described in Ontario’s sex education curriculum updated in…
More farmers using Ontario PC platform as fertilizer for its high quality bullshit
LISTOWEL, ON – Farmers across Ontario have already started using the provincial PC Party’s platform to fertilize their fields as the policies outlined are nutrient rich in bullshit. Allan O…
Kathleen Wynne has to go, and that’s why I’m voting for—oh, oh no…
By Margaret Dyer Enough is enough. Kathleen Wynne’s Liberals have shown that are completely unable to run this province. I’m tired of incompetence, of cronyism, and of corporations coming first. …
Ontario economy booming after entire month without Liberal fuckup
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario’s economy has picked up in the last month, owing in part to the Wynne government’s recent decision to stop totally cocking things up. “Ontario is creating more jobs t…
Ontario PCs confident they can somehow squander bribery charges against top Ontario Liberals
TORONTO – Ontario’s Progressive Conservative Party officials announced today that they are optimistic they can torpedo any chance of gaining popularity among Ontarians despite bribery charg…
Just tell me what you want me to think and I’ll think it
By: Patrick Brown, Leader of the Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario Ugh, Mondays right? You wake up, pour yourself a nice cup of coffee, and sit down to write a tidy little missive promisi…
Children shouldn’t be learning they have hoohoos and down-theres at such a young age
By PATRICK BROWN, LEADER OF THE PROGRESSIVE CONSERVATIVE PARTY OF ONTARIO The Wynne Liberals newest social experiment is teaching our innocent children about their hoohoos and down-theres when it…
Ontario Tories apologize for youth seminar featuring waterboarding, Patrick Brown
MCMASTER UNIVERSITY — The Ontario Progressive Conservatives have released an apology to young party activists Tuesday, after organizers of a youth rally used violence, intimidation and the …
Harper forced to ask Ford brothers to eat chicken wings more quietly at campaign appearance
ETOBICOKE, ON – During a speech in front of over a hundred supporters yesterday morning, Prime Minister Harper had to pause several times to ask Rob and Doug Ford to eat their chicken wings…