PARIS – Visitors to the Louvre today reacted with shock as a one-man climate protest took the form of a cake being thrown at star attraction Mona Lisa, whose own reaction to the ballistic b…
Tag: environmentalism
Report: Turtles delicious, come with [own] bowl
HALIFAX, NS – A shocking new report written by acclaimed naturalist, David Attenborough, and published by unlikelyrecipes.com suggests that not only are turtles delicious, but they convenie…
RCMP arrest the Lorax
LAKE COWICHAN, B.C. – The RCMP, out in force again today arresting protesters trying to protect old growth trees on Vancouver Island, have detained one of the world’s most recognizable envi…
“Humans are the real problem,” posts man who is the real problem
WINDSOR – Bartender Steve Atkins posted a picture of swans swimming in the Venice canals on Facebook yesterday with the caption, “The animals of the world are returning. Humans are the real…
Solar panel spill releases almost 1000000 lumens of sunlight into environment
BROOKS, AB – A large solar farm in Brooks has experienced a massive accidental spill, releasing an unprecedented amount of daylight into an area encompassing several square kilometers aroun…
Trudeau claims he was just holding a bag of single-use plastics for a friend
OTTAWA – After being caught on camera with a large quantity of single-use plastics, Justin Trudeau is adamantly denying the stash of fossil fuel derived cutlery belongs to him. “Look, this …
“Antarctic ice loss has tripled,” says crumpled report in garbage bin in Exxon’s cocaine lounge
Irving, TX – Oil industry insiders say that an alarming climate change report has been received by one of the top waste baskets in Exxon’s largest narcotic lounge. “It is imperative that we…
Ford offers Ontario companies holding cap-and-trade credits free tires to burn
TORONTO – Ontario Premier-designate Doug Ford will offer companies that have purchased carbon credits used tires so that they may be burned for heat. Claiming that the move will avoid any p…
Scientists discover renewable energy source in mediocre white men’s confidence
VANCOUVER, BC – Hundreds of years of privilege has transformed white male confidence into a pure, clean burning source of fuel, according to a study published by the University of British C…