GATINEAU, QC – In a rare display of self-reflection, the Liberals, Conservatives, NDP, Greens, Bloc and People’s Party admitted that their opponents fared much better in the federal leaders…
Tag: Andrew Scheer
Update: Scheer kept US citizenship secret for fear of being persecuted as a white American man
REGINA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer said that he kept his US citizenship a secret until now for fear of being persecuted as a white heterosexual male from the United States. “I didn’…
Doug Ford still trying to finish Andrew Scheer’s diversionary scavenger hunt
TIMISKAMING DISTRICT, ON – Deep in the Ontario wilderness, Premier Doug Ford believes he’s nearly found all the items to complete Conservative leader Andrew Scheer’s elaborate game to keep …
Conservatives vow to cut $2.2 billion of foreign aid to Middle-earth
OTTAWA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer further outlined his foreign aid policies by announcing a $2.2 billion cut to Middle-earth, roughly 25% of Canada’s foreign assistance to other co…
Andrew Scheer quickly deletes “Prime Minister” from resume
TORONTO – Hoping no one has yet noticed the exaggeration on his resume, Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has quickly deleted details outlining that he was Prime Minister from 2006 until 20…
Scheer not attending climate strikes fearing presence of 16-year-old girl
REGINA – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer did not attend any of today’s climate strikes across the country for fear of being confronted by a 16-year-old protester. “I think I’m better off …
Conservatives pledge to make home ownership more affordable by bringing in 1000-year mortgages
VAUGHAN, ONT – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has laid out his party’s plan to help more Canadians buy homes in Canada’s often prohibitively expensive real estate market by extendi…
Starving Canadians from 2050 wished the 2019 election was about the climate crisis
RUINS OF TORONTO – A group of starving Canadians from the year 2050 lamented on the ill-fated 2019 election, the last chance the country had to save itself and the world from a climate chan…
Tory candidate dropped for not making bigoted remarks
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada have removed one of their candidates from an Ontario riding after it was discovered she has not made any racist, homophobic, or slanderous remark t…
Conservative tax break allows citizens to decide what government services they want cut
TORONTO – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has proposed giving individual taxpayers the option of choosing which government infrastructure, programs, and services to cut to pay for his pro…