WELLAND, ON – A caucasian woman has impressed her friends and family with a new tattoo written in Chinese calligraphy that symbolizes her values of strength and appropriating a cultural sym…
Local
Local couple saving to afford dream divorce
AURORA, ON – After two kids and 15 years of marriage, Pam and John Harris have begun saving up to afford the best divorce proceedings money can buy. “This is a real priority for both of us,…
Local man creates world peace by flipping Risk board
Bancroft, ON – After hours of strife and heartache, Milton Meagher put an end to senseless slaughter of lives and global total warfare by flipping the Risk board upon which he and his warlord co…
Kinky vegan wants to be treated like a piece of meat-flavoured tofu
VANCOUVER – Hanna Morency, 37-years-old, has a fantasy to be sexually humiliated and degraded to the point of being morally equal to processed soy that imitates but not quite duplicates une…
Local teen takes a stand against ageism by not offering 83 year-old seat on bus
MONTREAL – Public transit officials are congratulating 16-year-old Harrison Grady for standing up against age discrimination by not giving up his seat to octogenarian Edith Perkins when she hobbl…
Local knob peruses entire craft beer menu before choosing same thing as companion
WINNIPEG – After exhaustively skimming the entire craft beer menu at neighborhood bar the Wheat Sheaf, 31-year-old jagoff Craig Benson eventually ordered the exact same beverage as his companion …
Update: That Chinese couple is not talking about you
YOUR LOCATION – Contrary to popular opinion, the Chinese couple you see speaking to each other in restaurants, grocery stores, and on the bus are not, in fact, gossiping about you. In all l…
Report: Neither man willing to admit high-five was too hard
KAMLOOPS, BC – In celebration of a small pay raise two men engaged in a high-five that neither of them are willing to admit was extremely painful and possibly permanently damaging. “H…
Child expresses love to parents with shitty portrait of family
Stoney Creek, ON – A local 5-year old boy disappointed his parents by giving them a poor artistic depiction of the family. Tommy Cobbler finished the work in his senior kindergarten class a…
Local man hoping to be more successful on LinkedIn than Match.com
Brampton, ON – As he waits for the employment offers to come flooding in, Ryan Guthrie, who has been dateless on Match.com for three years, hopes that LinkedIn is an easier nut to crack. “I…
