BARRIE, ON – Recent graduate Kyle Parsons, 23, was taken aback this week by the reappearance of his imaginary childhood friend, Silly Pete, who showed up on Parson’s doorstep with a suitcas…
Local
Friend accused of premature reminiscing
TORONTO – Though friends Brian Burke, 28, and Keith Pittman, 30, mutually enjoyed a four-day road trip to Montreal, Burke was accused of prematurely reminiscing about the event. “We were on…
Ghost would like to move on now that scores are settled
WINNEPEG, MB – Initially intent on wreaking mild inconvenience on his enemies, the bored ghost of Mark Sammon, 34, realized earlier this week that his average life left him without enough h…
‘Hunger Games’ themed sweet sixteen gets way out of hand
BRACEBRIDGE, ON – Police were dispatched to the Claire family’s Arbordale residence yesterday morning, after reports that Madison Claire’s Hunger Games-themed birthday party had…
Man spends $3000 dollars on snakes in one day
HALIFAX – Local herpetophile James Carruthers spent upwards of $2900 on 2 juvenile Burmese pythons in the back room of Sammy’s pet store earlier this afternoon. “Snakes are the …
Machismo exhibited by not holding pole in subway car
TORONTO – Local commuter Jeff Saunders impressed passengers on a subway car when he abstained from holding the pole as the train came to a halt, sources reported last week. As the subway de…
Guy that lives in suburbs tells everyone he lives downtown
PICKERING, ON – Suburban citizen Jake Laysley tells everyone he meets that he lives downtown, despite the 1.5-hour driving commute it takes him to arrive in Toronto from his house in Picker…
Clothed teen defies nudist parents
PONDEROSA, ON – Nudist colony parents of 15-year-old Francis Nickelby are struggling to cope with their teenage son’s rebellious behaviour, which involves wearing clothes. “It started about a yea…
Parents can’t decide who favourite kid is
WINNIPEG, MA – After discussing the matter at length, Becky and Ricky Calder are still unable to decide which of their two kids is their favourite. “Jenny’s got a lot going for her in the l…
Real life friendship devolves into Facebook friendship
TORONTO – A six-year friendship between former college roommates Stefan Gelko, 27, and Nick Shobel, 26, has recently devolved into a relationship existing solely in Facebook form, a concerned Gel…
