OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has silenced critics by carefully placing the Liberal government’s budget halfway off of a table, where according to sources it teetered precariously but nonetheless balanced itself.
“There were those who mocked me during our campaign last year when I said the budget would balance itself” said Trudeau, addressing the press in front of the delicately perched booklet that threatened to fall at any moment.
“I’m proud as your Prime Minister to be able to table this government’s first budget and that, well, see for yourself.”
The budget, entitled Growing the Middle Class, was tabled in the House of Commons by Finance Minister Bill Morneau, but it was Justin Trudeau who edged it toward the lip of that table eventually finding the book’s centre of gravity, which Trudeau says was, “slightly left of centre.”
“Honestly, I’ve been dangling this book off my desk for an hour and it keeps falling,” said interim Conservative leader Rona Ambrose.
“It’s a trick. Clearly Trudeau is doing the balancing, not the budget. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the Parliamentary Library where they have better tables.”
NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair attempted to address the media with his own proposed budget, which he demonstrated could balance spinning on his finger and then onto his nose, but no one bothered to ask him about it or take a picture.