TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford was sent to the emergency room after injuring both hands from repetitive finger-wagging during a recent COVID-19 press conference.
Ford’s two index fingers are reportedly sprained from scorning those who he believes are responsible for spreading the coronavirus as well as residents, businesses, and other governments he feels aren’t pulling their weight.
“Teachers’ unions, the federal government, people hosting large parties…it’s just too much for one premier to shake his fist at,” said one emergency room doctor at St. Michael’s Hospital who evaluated the Premier. “His dad-like lectures and threats to turn this government around has taken a huge toll on the tendons in his fingers. and may develop into carpal tunnel syndrome”
Yesterday’s meeting with the media was cut short after the Premier hyper-extended both of his wrists after expressing his disappointment at a small-business owner and Health Canada.
“He will have to wear hand braces and take two weeks off from answering questions about the lack of testing,” said the Premier’s occupational therapist.
In response to the second wave, which the provincial government had six-months to prepare for, Ford will pivot from finger-wagging to finger-pointing.
